thedoinker

"11 Reasons No!! to the The Kelenga Students"

2005-09-07T07:22:00.000-07:00

Here's the top 10 list for today!

1. Say NO! when they ask for your number! Why? They will miss call you and expect you to call back. Some even might ask their mom to call you and persuade you to do the assignment for their children!

2. Say NO! when they wanna buy you dinner! Why? They will expect that you will do their assignment after that. Nothing is free man! Cibai Kelenga!

3. Say NO! when they wanna date you! Why? They think that they can have free sex! Kanneh, they think that their cock can vibrate!

4. Say NO! when they wanna use your toilet! Why? They simply aim! And also, they think that they're creative, because they will write lots of XXxX stuffs on the wall, stating that they're desperate for sex.

5. Say NO! when they wanna borrow money from you! Why? They are invisible, especially in the dark! You won't be able to get your money back! Mah leh, know you for 1 day, plan to borrow money from you the next day! 3rd day, gone with the wind!

6. Say NO! when they wanna borrow books from you! Why? They will take whatever they can! So be prepared, say no no no, whether you have it or not!

7. Say NO! when they ask for your help for assignment! Why? They will take all the information from you and then pretend they don't know you the next day! Kiang toh ho, mang keh kiang! Smart, but don't act smart!

8. Say NO! when they wanna buy something from you! Why? They think that they're in their country, bargain = fighting. The best way is, want to buy come, don't want to buy go kiong kan! Don't waste my time cibai kelengas!

9. Say NO! when they wanna be your housemate! Why? As long as you have holes, you're gone! Dooooomed! You will know the feeling of being ambushed by anaconda!

10. Say NO! when they wanna work for you! Why? Work 2 days, sick for 3 days! Kannineh Kelengas! Then next week come tell you their cow is sick! Need to take another 5 days leave!

11. Say NO! when they wanna use the computer lab! Why? Makcibai, they will download the kelenga song and play it so loud as if they're in the Discotheque! Mah leh, sipek tulan tulan tulan, so fucking rude, no matter how many times you warn them, they just never listen, not human! not even animal! worse than plant!

P/S: If you're in a jungle alone, and you have a gun with only one bullet left, and you saw a hungry lion and a kelenga walking slowly towards you..... what must you do first? Simple, shoot the kelenga la!

Lion = Dangerous, but you know and you can avoid them

Kelenga = Cunning, virus, epidemic, they will kill you slowly and you will never know and hard to avoid

Handphone - The New Generation

2005-09-03T05:59:00.000-07:00

New handphone available soon in the market - The New Generation - We name it HB 1, stands for Hybrid Handphone 1.

Inbuild 5 mega pix Digi Cam
Inbuild tri-band
The rest, no need to describe..... It's a phone dude what you expect????

K is Kelenga!

2005-09-01T13:14:00.000-07:00

The magical K!

K stands for Kelengas
K stands for Kiong Kan
K stands for Kanasai
K stands for Kanneh
K stands for Kanninah

-Initial D- The New Generation - (Ladies Version)

2005-08-19T09:30:00.000-07:00

-When cops come knocking and breaking into your home-

2005-08-18T08:45:00.000-07:00

(http://www.thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2005/8/18/nation/11804102&sec=nation)

Makcibai! Ladies and Gentlemen all refer to the link stated above!

Kanneh, can you actually believe that? The bloody Malaysian policemen think that they can do whatever they want just because they're carrying the badge? Pukimak eh! No warrant and no identification and somemore want to search people's house? Damn never use their fucking brain. Okay, after reading it carefully, all of them are the Melayu Polis! Kannineh! Also, refer to this statement,

"...When contacted here yesterday, Ipoh OCPD Asst Comm Che Sab Hanafiah said the policemen had followed procedures.

“They had shown their credentials to the house owner and when they were not allowed in, they have the right to break into the house to make a search even without a warrant,” he said.

He said police would investigate the alleged racial remarks made by one of the policemen..."

Like that also can! Kanneh! Pu boh eh! All the Policemen in Malaysia Hao Siow ! Mak Cibai! Luan Luan lai!

-Class-

2005-08-17T07:20:00.001-07:00

... I was late for class yesterday.... again, because I miss the cibai kannineh train. Anyway, who cares anyway, I just need to take my attendance. Yaya, I know, they still treat us like high school children. You know why my Uni has such policy? Ok, let me tell you.... those cibai Kelengas applied for student visa, come to my Uni, enrolled for a course and never ever attended any of the lectures. Kanneh, those pukimak come here to work la... tulan nia! I know that they need to earn money, but try to think of the consequences la! Ma hai, if anything happened, the immigration will cancel your VISA and you need to go back to your country you know??? Then what do you plan to do after that ? Talk to cows everyday? anyway, fuck it la.
... ok, back to my story. Well, since that I was late for class, I had to sit at the back of the classroom ( Tutorial ), well, who cares anyway, as long as I do my work or don't do my work no one cares as long as I switch off my phone and don't disturb the class. Anyway, as I was enjoying sitting at the back, dreaming.... suddenly a student came in..... late la of coz! I'm better than him, 5 minutes earlier. Well, I didn't even bother to look at him also..... in Hokkien, Boh chap siow!
Then out of sudden, I smelled something fishy! Kanneh, something like dead dog! Makcibai, damn smelly! Pukimak, man, tell you, I kiam kiam pengsan! Shit, then I woke up la! Mak kannineh, the smell came from the guy that came in late for class. How I know? Pukimak, he was just sitting in front of me. Mahai, when I looked carefully,............ ITZ THE KELENGA AGAIN! Man, I tell you, it's smelly than dead rat, si niao chu! Damn chao kiam hu!
Man! Take shower before you come to class!

"...KelengaS again..."

2005-08-17T07:03:00.000-07:00

.... ok, recently, the security guard at my University has to check our student card before we can actually enter the building. Ok fine, because there're a lot of outsiders came to our Uni to use the facilities and also, cibai, steal things la, what else. Okay, then a couple weeks later, got complains again. Cibai, now the security guard is more scrict la, kanneh before as long as he can see the Uni's logo in your student card, you can enter the building, but now, he actually check whether the picture printed in the student card match with the person showing the card! So, during peak hours, we have to queue for quite some time just to get into the building chao cibai.... the reason behind it, those cibai kelengas borrow their student card to their friends so that their friends can get in.... also the security guard was having some hard time because all of them looks the same!...

Also if you spend like half an hour at the lobby, you will see the security guard screwing at least 1 kelengas once every 10 minutes.... My Gosh!

"Barking Human? What the...!"

2005-08-17T06:46:00.000-07:00

How to you define siow lang?

...A Louisiana mailman was bitten by a barking animal - of the human variety. The postie heard barks when he walked up to the house in Houma but saw a dog chained up. Suddently a barking man came running from around the side of the house, nipped the mailman's shoulder and scampered inside. The man has been arrested and charged with battery....

-What The...- Part 2

2005-08-17T06:32:00.000-07:00

I came across an interesting news today.... "Dopey Cows Eat Grass"

...Russia's long winter will just fly by for a herd of Russian Cows which, a newspaper reported yesterday will be fed confiscated marijuana over the cold months. Drug workers said the adopted the unusual forms of animal husbandry after they were forced to destry the sunflower and maize crops that the 40 tonnes of marijuana had been planted among, Novye Izvestia reported. "There is simply no other way out. You see, the fields are planted with feed crops and if we remove it all, the cows will have nothing to eat." A federal Drugs Agency Control Service spokeswoman for the Urals region of Sverdlovsk said. " I don't know what the milk will be like after this."...

Interesting isn't it~! Teh Tarik satu, tarik kuat kuat! Kasi susu Russia!

"Languages"

2005-08-14T05:02:00.000-07:00

Okay, since I have nothing much to do now, I'll conduct a special hokkien and Malay class for some Ang Moh Kau ( Hansome Westerners )..... lanjiao ! If you're interested in Hokkien or Malay girls, here are some tips for you.

Wa lai liow = Saya sudah mari = I'm coming

Wa ai chut liow! = Saya mau tembak = I'm cumming

Niaboh eh ! = Mak Engkau! = Hello Aunty~

Puniaboh!/Kaniaboh = Rogol Mak Engkau! = Aunty you look nice

Chao Cibai! = Cibai busuk ! = You're sexy~

Kiong Kan! = Hang pi konkek = I love you baby

Ok, I think that's all for today. Learn them well! Language is a very powerful weapon, use it well.

"10 Reasons Why I Tulan The Kelenga Students"

2005-08-13T04:10:00.000-07:00

1. CCB KNNB! 9/10 of the Kelenga Students don't know how to use the toilet. They just simple aim, pookie mak! 1/10 got a lucky shot!

2. CCB KNNB! 9/10 of the kelenga Students never flush after they finished their business (pang sai or pang jio). Pookie mak, 1/10 actually flushes, because he just too curious with the button.

3. CCB KNNB! 9/10 of the Kelenga Students tend to use @#%#$% irritating kelenga songs as their ring tones! 1/10 actually doesn't because he's still using Nokia 3310.

4. CCB KNNB! 9/10 of the Kelenga Students don't know how to use the stairs! Why? Because they will use the lift to get to the next floor! Pookie, too blinking lazy to walk.

5. CCB KNNB! 9/10 of the Kelenga Students never know how to switch off their phone while they're in the lecture hall or in the class. Knn! Damn tulan! Why? (Refer to reason number 3). 1/10 still okay, because he forgot to bring his phone to class.

6. CCB KNNB! 9/10 of the Kelenga Students si pek gao kesi! Talk big number one! In other words, can talk but cannot do! To them, Words are louder than Actions! Kanneh! 1/10 doesn't talk and also doesn't do anything as well.

7. CCB KNNB! 9/10 of the Kelenga Students never switch their phone into vibrate mode when they're in the bloody library! OK fine, assuming that they forgot to do that, but at least go out from the library to answer the damn bloody phone! 1/10 actually does, because he was black listed. ( If he answer his phone in the library again, he will be banned from entering the library for one semester )

8. CCB KNN! 9/10 of the Kelenga Students will always come to you when they need your help, especially assignments! 1/10 doesn't do that because he's actually paying some bloody smart ass to do his assignment.

9. CCB KNNB! 9/10 of the Kelenga Students sipek gao kesi! I think most of them used to work in Bollywood as "Ke Le Fe" before they came to Australia. Well trained by the Kelenga directors! Pooniaboh! 1/10 no need to act because the attitude already damn kiong kan.

10. CCB KNNB! 9/10 of the Kelenga Students are so bloody rude to everyone! So beh tong man! The way they act is like some sort of debt collectors..... like the tai yee long! Kanneh, feel like slapping their face with bull's cock. 1/10 is actually different from the others because he's the kelenga ah kua, boh lampa one, instead of soap, this bloody fella use softener to wash this bloddy body.

Kanneh, another thing, why are they so bloody smelly? Do they ever take shower? Goodness man, if you ever see a lift that is full of the kelengas, DON'T GO IN! You can either walk or wait for the next one.

Actually, there're thousand of reasons why I tulan, but due to the fact that I haven't sleep for 2 days, I can't think of more... but, I'll continue next time.

-What The...-

2005-08-11T17:19:00.000-07:00

Believe it or not.....

"An off-duty policeman has been caught picking pockets in Country "A". Stolen cash was found in the pocket of the constable ( Lets name him Mr. Lanjit )after two people were robbed at an inauguration caremony for an elephant's resthouse. Police spokesman ( Let's name him, Mr Pundek )said,:" Well my friend, he cannot get away my friend, even though he is a policeman my friend, he cannot escape my friend."

P/S: Based on true story. Must be wondering where right? I'll let you guess!